paradise

i just want to be a person who can do anything to make everyone happy. i want to please people same as i do to please myself. i want people to accept for who am i. i want them to know that i am such a far-thanzperfect human. i am that kind of human. i hope i really have an ocean of love. i really do.

i am childish.
yet no a childlike one.

i always want people to listen to me. as i grow bigger, i learn how to consider with other people. should people consider what i feel too? what we give, we always get back. it is how it suppose to be. but when we give love, love does not always follow back. and it hurts so much. if you are such an immature kid, then you will stop to love. but if you are on the other side, you will never care about how people will pay it back to you.

because doing good, is better.
and you will always try better, so the best will be outcoming soon.

remember, be good. at least for yourself. be true, even when it hurts down to earth. be bold, so life will always shine ravishingly.

and what matters most, it is god who knows every single deed. pleasing god is far better than pleasing humans.

god, dont lemme go astray.
make me a better person from day to day so i can be one the worshippers whom You love. i know i am shameless but please grant me jannah. so i can meet with my loved ones in your holy heaven.

paradise, will you set me up a home at your land? T_T

higher and higher

i will fly, higher than before.

ya allah please help me. please help all of us to succeed in everything we do. bless my family, my teachers, my friends and my loved ones.

we all have our own dreams that we want to come true.

you, with your dream.
and i, stay with my dream.

our path will never be the same. but we live the same journey, to live our life to the fullest.

let us do what we are wanting to do all this while.

maja, pallie pallie pallie!

no-excited lah

i do not feel excited to pursue my degree. it has been months i stay at home and now, when i know i have to leave afar, it sucks.

mama keep telling me to start doing all the preparation but i just let those words vanish in the air haha.

can i just stay home, for the rest of my life?
i hope the time to freeze so life will never change.

seremban, seremban. would you be my paradise on earth like kuantan?

with without

it is so hard to live without the people who you want to live with for the rest of time till the last breath of life.

but never forget that if people do not like you, for what you have to fear? but if allah is againts you, then what hope do you have?

i hope my tomorrow will always be better from today.
i hope my today will always be brighter than my yesterday.

i will always hope that i can be a ravishingly beautiful one. i really do. but i know i am just a person, who have nothing to be proud of. neither by god nor by humans.

'cause there are too many people whom at their peak of beauty are surrounding the earth.

may allah forgive.
may allah bless.
may allah protect.
may allah love.
may allah care.

each part of us.
each of you.
each.

goodnight, angels on earth.
yet soon to be so in heaven, pretty people.

gadis jolobu

shall i really say farewall to kuantan, and wave a new hello to seremban?

guess i should.

alhamdulillah, it has been destined by allah that i will be pursuing my degree in the bachelor of administrative science at uitm negeri sembilan campus of seremban 3.

dont know how to react but this is all i have ever wanted since the day i got my muet result.

band 3 is completely not enough to chase your dream in becoming a lawyer.

so through the final semester i decided and focused on this stuff. i wanted to do this very bad.

after all, allah knows this is the best. three years from now, i will be gadis jolobu hahaha says one of my cousins.

good night.
thanks allah.
everything will be better if i accept all your plans calmly.

ara. chincha ara.

reminisce on

there is only two clothes of mine that you cannot touch, wear or borrow without my consent;

my gorgeous g's jersey, and my kuantan-jawi tee shirt.

except those two, you can do whatever you want with all of my clothes in my wardrobe. haha.

i dont know.
i am so in love, with everything that reminds me of kuantan.

it is great to have so much memories to be reminisced on. and thanks, kuantan, for giving me a year of beautiful life.

i love you so much.
truthfully with all my heart, kuantan.

good night, kuantan.
may your starry night will always bring calmness to the people who stare underneath the sky.

good night, for one more time.

i am trying so hard to not dependant on the other person because i wanna live my life on my own.

from a very childish one, who wants to tell every single thing how she feels at the moment to a very less talkative lady when it comes the matter of problems.

because i have the thought of being strong in my own definition. it means that you have to bear everything that knock you down to earth only in your heart. cause you cannot show that you are feeling weak and hopeless. if people ask, then your absolute answer has to be, "it is nothing heyyyy."

eventhough it is so hard to be done at first.
eventhough it ruins the heart at most.

the only reason i am trying to increase the heart mature level, it is just because. just because.

just because i think i will never go down if people leave me although i hope they will stay for the rest of life.

but hey, it drives me crazy to reset my heart. but i believe i can do it. i am a bearable person. okay? okay.

just now, i had a bad dream. i did not realize when i fell asleep cause i was too tired but it was the lousyest moment when your eyes open wide in no time without your consent.

there's pain, for knowing that i am the strong one so this kind of stuff like to be placate by someone after having a bad dream is a childish act.

i dont care.
eh yeah i care.

but being childish does not mean you will be mortally immature. i think that i have to change my perspective sooner or later. talking to people about how bad your day is or why i am having a bad dream that close enough to bring tears will never represent you as a hopeless person.

but still, i choose to dare myself not to stuck in this way any longer. myself needs to be built stronger day by day.

i hope that allah will strengthen me for the time being till the very end. i hope that allah will help you, and all of us to be a hero to ourselves.

good night, for one more time.
the stars will always accompany from above and give its smile to console our soul.

sweet dream!

mend it

mend my broken heart, cause you make me turns into a lunatic person. do you ever feel sorry, my dear? nothing on earth can placate my soul any longer. you tie my heart with a deep wrath that one day will make you realize,

you already set my blatant soul on fire.

selamat malam

selamat malam, malaysia.
selamat malam, dunia.

selamat malam, manusia2 kesayangan tuhan.

kalau diharap2, harapnya masih ada esok untuk setiap kita.

moga, moga setiap kita, bahagia dengan cara kita sendiri. dengan setiap apa yang dibagi tuhan.

* * * * * *

jihah cakap, aku suka perhatikan orang. berapa tahun kot jihah kawan dengan aku. jadi mungkin dia perasan kot. mana taknya, kalau orang tukar spek pun aku boleh perasan.

seronok sebenarnya tengok orang ni. rasa macam kau dalam dunia kau, dan ada macam2 karakter depan mata. dan, mungkin, kau boleh belajar tentang apa2 sahaja, daripada apa yang kau lihat.

cubalah.

* * * * * *

madly in love. tengok tak tengok je cerita ni. makin meluat dengan cerita bilamana dua2 sama cinta- tapi terpaksa berpisah sebab orang ketiga. bila dah berkorban, ingatkan bahagia- rupanya orang lain pula banyak masuk campur tak nak bagi orang bahagia.

kenapa ya, kita suka campur tangan macam kita tahu segalanya tentang orang di sekeliling kita, sedangkan dia pun masih kurang mengerti dirinya sendiri?

kenapa ya, kita sering lagak tahu kita punya mahu yang paling baik dan paling boleh julang bahagia?

kenapa ya, kita asyik fikir, jalan kita sahaja yang akan bawa menuju gembira?

haih, malas dah nak tengok madly in love. sakit pulak hati kita eeeeeee rasa nak nangis je bila tengok cinta tak bersatu tak dapat bersama sebab keadaan sedihnya sedihnya sedihnya.

sebab dalam hidup, sebenarnya sama je dengan apa yang kita lihat dalam drama. kebanyakan.

* * * * * *

selamat malam, bintang di langit.
moga dibangunkan tidur mentari di esok pagi.