i am trying so hard to not dependant on the other person because i wanna live my life on my own.
from a very childish one, who wants to tell every single thing how she feels at the moment to a very less talkative lady when it comes the matter of problems.
because i have the thought of being strong in my own definition. it means that you have to bear everything that knock you down to earth only in your heart. cause you cannot show that you are feeling weak and hopeless. if people ask, then your absolute answer has to be, "it is nothing heyyyy."
eventhough it is so hard to be done at first.
eventhough it ruins the heart at most.
the only reason i am trying to increase the heart mature level, it is just because. just because.
just because i think i will never go down if people leave me although i hope they will stay for the rest of life.
but hey, it drives me crazy to reset my heart. but i believe i can do it. i am a bearable person. okay? okay.
just now, i had a bad dream. i did not realize when i fell asleep cause i was too tired but it was the lousyest moment when your eyes open wide in no time without your consent.
there's pain, for knowing that i am the strong one so this kind of stuff like to be placate by someone after having a bad dream is a childish act.
i dont care.
eh yeah i care.
but being childish does not mean you will be mortally immature. i think that i have to change my perspective sooner or later. talking to people about how bad your day is or why i am having a bad dream that close enough to bring tears will never represent you as a hopeless person.
but still, i choose to dare myself not to stuck in this way any longer. myself needs to be built stronger day by day.
i hope that allah will strengthen me for the time being till the very end. i hope that allah will help you, and all of us to be a hero to ourselves.
good night, for one more time.
the stars will always accompany from above and give its smile to console our soul.